• if you don’t know who the mob’s chasing today, it might be you
  
• “pray for rain” is said always, even when it rains
  
• good fences make good neighbors, but barbed wire fences make neighbors fight over cut up hogs
• directions can be given by street name, church name, or proximity to starbucks
• that tree has been dead for ten years, but their brother fell out of it when he was eight, and we need the reminder everyday
• he keeps deer heads on his wall and your underwear in his glovebox; some trophies are worth displaying
• the scars on your chest don’t exist yet; everyone knows, but they don’t have prayers for it
• you and your cousin both wake up in the summer, sweating cold; she got the bruise on her brain wearing fatigues- you got yours at school
• “Bless Your Heart” doesn’t invoke blessings
  
• she gave you her cross necklace to guard while she went hunting with the boys, she never came back for it
• your dad’s favorite hound stares at his empty chair now more than ever- maybe you should have cremated him like he wanted
• everyone says you don’t deserve a mean old drunk like him, but they don’t know about that night
• they made you read To Kill a Mockingbird as a reminder, but your grandad still calls it ‘niggertoe pie’
• every now and then, the Klan accidentally publicizes its monthly newsletter, and the town laughs about it over Sunday lunch
• you don’t believe in Jesus anymore, but you see Him everywhere

“girls only wear makeup and dress nice for guys!”

false. 

Black Widow:

• a music box playing a [possibly russian] lullaby and with the usual spinning ballerinas in their dancing pose only the ballerinas have machine guns
• one of those little children’s books where each page is divided into three with different illustrations of the same character and you can make different combinations with each set of three page sections and play with Nat’s disguises, like ballerina legs + her spy outfit from the waist up + a blonde wig for example
• a board game where you have to overcome a bunch of obstacles and bad guys to complete a spy mission
• another game where you play a character trying to complete a mission but instead of a board game it’s a questions game where you don’t have to fight bad guys but you have to make choices, decide between things. nothing too harsh because it’s for kids but it could be a nice training in self-confidence, the “trust your instincts after being informed” lesson, and it relates to her spy training

Hawkeye:

• a bow and arrow (the harmless kind, to play pretend) with all of clint’s different kinds of arrows, all ending in suction cups to get stuck wherever the kids throw them but some look like explosive arrows, others like net arrows, and it comes with images from the comics saying what each of them does.
  
• a “Learn Sign Language with Clint and Barney” manual
• [affordable] hawkeye-themed hearing aids
• a private detective game starring kate bishop aka cluedo junior except with archery and dogs and sass
• maybe make all kinds of hawkeye merch have a clint barton version and a kate bishop version to give kids the choice

mcu/comics bucky barnes: army trained, ‘excelled in the classroom’, most likely the best sniper the us army has ever seen, trained in the red room/with hydra, knows how to incapacitate targets and kill people, can work with various weaponry and modern technology, becomes captain america fairly soon after recovering memories

fandom bucky barnes: cries 24/7 about steve. what the fuck is a microwave??????????? tv???? iN COLOUR???? !!!! ! !?! natasha who’s natasha?? my one and only love is steve rogers????? 

lmao: lenin, mao, and others

brb: bringing rad bolsheviks

kmrc: karl marx was really cool

ittiu: i think trotsky is underrated 

rtcm: reading the communist manifesto 

pilsalbway: personally i liked stalin better, what about you?

• said The Avengers cast should be an all woman cast, because woman are smarter

• said it was a nightmare working with Joss Whedon

• said he didn’t know what the hell was going on in AOU

• adopted Chris Evans like a 100 times

• ate Captain America Doritos like a boss and joked about how Chris Evans tasted

• spoke Indonesian

• was all around funny, nice, and charming.

things to remember:

• proletariat has a lot of pent-up anger, might pretend you are his CEO
• because of the bourgeois’ exposure to jazz music, his attack patterns and methods of exploitation are a lot less predictable

which are u: wine mom, beer dad, or vodka aunt